A Shift In Vocabulary

There’s a huge wave on the internet in which all kinds of people are creating their own language in regards to sexuality and gender that best fit them, hence the rise of things like Tumblr genders or MOGAI identities. I may be a little old fashioned in the sense that I’m going to chose to stick with science, while still being kind and open-minded.

That being said, when I first came out, I “identified” as a non-binary transgender person. Since coming out about 9 months ago, I feel that those words are not the best to describe me. The term “non-binary” is sadly popularized with MOGAI identities, the belief in unlimited genders, and quite frankly, it makes you look like a joke whether socially or on social media. I do not agree with those things, nor do I want to be associated with them.

While I am still 100% non-binary, starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (I am on testosterone) has made me realize that there are three terms that better describe my gender experience and my medical condition (gender dysphoria). They also remove any association with MOGAI identities. These terms are “neutrois”, “transmasculine”, something “FTN Transsexual”. In this article, I will explain what each term means and why they better describe me.

Neutrois

I’ve done so much research lately, and upon studying up on what it actually means to be agender, I came across the word neutrois. Agender is an identity that falls under the category “neutrois”. Let’s see both definitions of these words, according to dictionary.com

As you can see, the meaning of these words is almost identical except for the fact that the word neutrois includes the phrase “neutral gender”. Let’s look at the derivation of the word now.

Neuter, aha! Where have we heard this before? This word is used in the APA’s Dictionary of Psychology. In this book, gender is defined as “the condition of being male, female, or neuter”. The word neutrois is clever because just as the APA has recognized three options for describing one’s gender, (male, female, or neuter), the “trois” part of neutrois does exactly that. It is important for me to express that my gender is neutral in the sense that it is neither inherently man nor woman. For me, this takes away the assumption that I believe in infinite genders because my neutral state is still rooted in the binary. I feel like this word is just easier to understand. Also, neutrois does not have the word gender in it, which is just better for me mentally.

From now on, if anyone asks what my gender is, I will say I am neutrois. If they ask for further explanation, I will gladly explain that I am non-binary and I do not experience gender, making me agender. 

Transsexual & Transmasculine

That brings me to my next point about why I prefer to use the term transsexual over transgender. Now you may be thinking, “CADENCE YOU DEFINITELY ARE NOT! You aren’t binary, so there is no way you can be transsexual!

Let’s look at the meaning of transsexual in the DSM-5:

Now Dictionary.com

According to the DSM-5 as well as the everyday understanding of the word, I am a transsexual and here is why: I have already socially transitioned and I am actively on HRT. Though my gender is NOT “man”, I am medically going through MALE HRT and altering my body to be more male-aligned, hence the testosterone. This makes me transmasculine. The medical changes I am experiencing are the same things someone who is FTM (female-to-male) will experience. The alterations I will be doing to my body will take my body from being completely female to being more male-aligned (i.e. full hysterectomy, etc.), similar to someone who is FTM.

I am not the only neutrois or non-binary person who is assigned female at birth that has undergone or will undergo these procedures. Take Ash Hardell, for example. Though Ash is non-binary, they have completely masculinized their chest with top surgery. So you see, though my gender will not be “man”, my physical body goals are to be more male-aligned. Because I am AFAB, this will require the masculinization, to some degree, of my female sex characteristics in order to exist happily.

FTN Transsexual

There is something so off-putting about having to explain being non-binary to someone. Though I do love talking about my identity and helping the everyday cishet understand, there is always a fear that people will think I’m completely delusional. Being trans is hard enough, but explaining I am neither female-to-male nor male-to-female is even harder. I think terms like FTM or MTF make the struggle just a bit easier. I started to think about what it would be like to have a term like FTM or MTF that would describe me. I decided FTN, meaning female to neutrois, can work just perfectly! It can help make me a bit less uncomfortable, and also can make conversations about my identity much shorter.

I hope this helped to explain why I feel that these terms best describe me. Of course, I am still non-binary. Of course, I am still technically transgender. Those things go hand-in-hand with my identity. However, there is so much nuance with the terms transgender and non-binary that they cause unnecessary discomfort and a lot of assumptions.