It was April 27th of 2019. I was hanging out with my friends at one of my favorite gay bars. The Rosemont, located in Brooklyn, is a bar I frequent for leisure time as well as a bar I perform at. This time, I was going just to party and take my mind off of some things. I was going through some rough times. A guy I was talking to, let’s call him Bob, was throwing me mixed signals and it really had my head going. So, I decided to go out and have some fun.
I got drunk… maybe a little too drunk. After all, my roommate and I were celebrating the birthday of a friend who we happened to meet up with at the bar. I started posting videos of me partying on my Twitter, all in good fun.
After some partying with friends, I started thinking about the situation I was in with Bob and I wanted to talk to someone. All of my friends at the bar were busy partying, so I sat down and messaged Parker. At this point, Parker and I were nothing more than Twitter mutuals. I always thought he was super cute, but we were both talking to other people– let’s call Parker’s boy Jim– so I didn’t dare make much conversation with him. On this night though, I really wanted to talk to him. The DMs started out with small talk. I let him know I was drunk and like a gentleman, he was concerned about me getting home safe. I assured him there was nothing to worry about and we continued talking.
After I sobered up and got home, we were able to talk about how we both actually wanted to be closer to one another. We began to talk every day over the next few weeks– we moved our chat over to Whatsapp. The first thing I noticed about Parker was how sweet he was. He always checked on my well-being and genuinely listened to everything I had to say. He was super funny as well; he always knew how to make me laugh when I was sad (especially over Bob). As time passed, our conversations became less about Bob and Jim, and more about us. I also noticed that Bob didn’t want to be in a relationship. Parker began flirting more and more, and he made it apparent that he was no longer talking to Jim, either.
Our feelings for each other grew really quickly. We just clicked, ya know? It’s something so undeniable. I actually liked Parker, not just the attention he gave me. Before things got too serious, I made sure to speak to Jim (he was a mutual friend) about where he and Parker stood. Jim essentially gave us his blessing (thanks Jim) and I took that shit and RAN with it, honey.
On May 10th, 2019, I asked Parker out. It was nerve-wracking because I’m usually the one being asked out, but hey, I gotta do what I gotta do. Obviously, Parker said yes, and this was the start of our long distance relationship.
While we were long distance, we spent every moment together. We would text, call, and video chat all day long. I remember the first packages we sent each other; I sent him some Spiderman t-shirts I bought for him as well as a prized possession of mine, and he sent me some of his prized possessions as well as his favorite childhood stuffed animal. This came in handy because as the days went on, it became harder and harder to be long distance.
Parker and I had a lot in common, but we were also two completely different people. We kind of fit together like a puzzle piece. The most incredible thing about Parker is that he had tolerance, concern, patience, and compassion for my mental illnesses. Parker also suffered from things like trauma and anxiety, just to name a few. However, he always seemed to be able to calm me down when I was panicking or having an episode. He made sure I took my medications and did his best to make sure I was in a healthy mindset. When I wasn’t in a healthy minset, he was always there to help me out. He didn’t have to do any of these things– he wasn’t my doctor or my parent, but he chose to and I’m forever grateful for it.
Another special thing about Parker was that he understood what it was like to be trans and have gender dysphoria. I can honestly say that Parker helped me hate myself less. As a non-binary person, I was always worried about not being able to date anyone because of the fact that I was into men while being masculine myself but still having female parts. Parker was able to not only look past all of that but LOVE those things about me and he never made me feel like a woman. I can honestly say he sees me for who I am.
After two months of being long distance, Parker finally came to see me. He landed in NYC on August 13 2019, a day before my birthday. I’m not going to go into too much detail about our experiences together in this post because I want to save that for future posts. Just know that it went really well. Being with him in person made me love him even more. It felt right.
On November 7th 2019, before Parker got into the taxi to go back to Scotland, we got engaged! Parker is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m not interested in explaining or justifying our relationship to anyone, but rather to give trans people hope for love through our experiences. Unfortunately, he’s in Scotland right now, but he will be back here in NYC early January! While he’s away, I’ll use this time to catch up with the blog and share our experiences with you guys. I hope you enjoy!
Cadence Jasiel 